England's chances ruined by rain

A steaming hot day in Tunbridge Wells was tempered by a brief and welcome shower.

A rather cute American visitor to this isle was so delighted she could not contain her exclamation.

‘Oh my gahd it’s raaaaaining,’ she announced, peering into the heavens, ‘but that’s just sooo English!’ she climaxed.

‘You’re quite right,’ I said, ‘it’s a traditional English ceremony, we’ve put on this rain especially.’

This is me trying to ‘reach out’. I do it sometimes.

Sometimes an expression of surprised joy and an expression of surprised disgust can be very similar. I make mistakes sometimes.

'Is the temperature OK for you?' I offered. 'I can get them to adjust it if you like’.

The babe looked suddenly nauseous and turned away from me, I thought to be sick. Now I saw she had one of these mobile phone tooth things that sits on your ear.

'Urgh, this guy, he just started talking to me, are you far away?'

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