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Looking through kids’ class work from Design & Technology I was stunned to find one truly ingenious blueprint.

As my eyes took in the engineering proposal before me I consciously made the decision to throw all the other children’s work over my shoulder as far as I could, scattering a dozen perfectly laudable sketches for solar powered cars, ergonomically optimised chairs, space rockets and similarly practical, but otherwise trite, conceptions fluttering down like giant confetti.

For once, my luck was in, and there was no other member of staff standing there unbeknownst to me.

Then I made for home, intent on contacting the Patent Office to stake my claim to the toilet with a light mounted inside the bowl. The light is controlled by a switch on the side of the cistern, and just like an oven light, is intended to help the user – for whatever reason they may wish to do this – to inspect the contents of the toilet bowl.

Production starts this month.

(I've since discovered that someone's already invented a similar gadget, but nothing actually housed inside the toilet bowl itself).

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