Gordon the Brown Engine

UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown is recommending the Thomas the Tank Engine stories and the Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales for today’s children.

I read all the stories of Thomas and his colleagues. The main thing I recall is the appalling behaviour of those ‘troublesome trucks’, who were always trying to cause a rail disaster for Thomas and the other engines, and it really contributed to my cynicism about teamwork.

Later on, around the age of 10, I came across those vicious vignettes of horror and mutilation known as Grimms Fairy Tales. I don’t think I ever felt so delightfully nauseated when reading something. Those stories helped make me the twisted, dark-minded individual I am today. I commend Mr Brown for his tastes.

Wholesome Socks especially recommends Grimms’ ‘A Tale of One Who Travelled to Learn What Shivering Meant’ as a bedtime story for children you are looking to psychologically scar, especially if the child is a second-born son.

Good night.